New Study on Teen Drinking Cultures

Researchers at George Mason University recently released results of their study on "Understanding Teen Drinking Cultures in America".  This research was done in an attempt to help parents, communities, and schools develop programs to help reduce the rate of teen alcohol consumption.  These teen drinking statistics and the responses given by teens and parents as to how and why teens drink may surprise you.  According to the study results:

• Teens typically begin drinking in high school
• Teens view drinking as a rite of passage to adulthood
• More teens drink to relieve stress than from peer pressure
• Older youth, notably older siblings, usually provide the alcohol
• Most teens report consuming the most alcohol at parties
• Teenagers drink with the intent to get drunk, not have a social drink
• Drinking is often the focus of social gatherings
• Most adolescents drink without the knowledge of adults

School officials and teens agree that school alcohol awareness programs are ineffective and lack consistency.  There is also too many discrepancies between what teens are taught about alcohol and what they learn from their personal experiences. 

The message to not drink and drive seems to be clearly received. However, other social, physical and legal consequences of drinking are not as apparent to teenagers.  Teens often feel because they only drink occasionally (or on the weekends) their health is not at risk.  The effects that binge drinking can have on their bodies, including alcohol poisoning and death are often not explained.  Teens often fear getting caught drinking at school more than any legal consequences because schools can be more strict in enforcing teen related alcohol problems than local law enforcement.  Many teens are not aware that offenses committed while under the influence of alcohol can result in enhanced charges leading to felony arrests and prison.  Social consequences related to drinking such as higher rates of teen sex, teen pregnancy, date rape, violence, and illegal activity are rarely a major concern for teenagers.

Most parents believe their child is the one who goes to the party but doesn't drink, and most teens feel they are really good at hiding their drinking habits from their parents.  Parents - I know you have heard it before, but talk to your teens, listen to your teens, and if you suspect your teen may be experimenting with alcohol or other risky behaviors follow your gut instinct and do something about it today.  Don't wait for something more serious to happen to your child and don't let fear outweigh the opportunity to reach out and protect your child.

Educate Teens about Teen Sex and Teen Pregnancy

With the advances of modern technology, comes a whole new world of education. It used to be that parents had a lot of control over what their kids and teens were learning. Unfortunately, that isn't really the case anymore. Parenting teens is much more difficult now, even if you can control what kind of technology your kids are using, and what kind of information they are getting from it, you can't control the kind of education their friends are getting from it, and in turn sharing with your kids.

Our focus today is on educating teens about teen sexuality and teenage pregnancy. Sex, sex, sex, just say it! Sex is a fact of life. Sex education has to come from somewhere. Depending on your age,  your culture, your religious background, etc. how you first learned about sex is probably very different from how your friend, neighbor, parents, and others learned about it. Kids today are exposed to sexual innuendos from a very young age. True they don't necessarily understand it, but even animated movies made for children often carry some type of sexual content or message within the story. Other places your children and teens are being exposed to sex: TV, the Internet, music, magazines, friends, newspapers, etc. Even cell phones, with forwarded text messages, sexting, and more. Think of any type of media out there and you will find that it is a conduit for sexual information.

That said, how and where do you want your teens to learn about sex? Maybe you are embarrassed to talk to them about it. Maybe you feel like you don't know enough about it yourself. The great news is that there is a TON of useful information out there to help parents talk to their teens about sex and sexual activity. Handbooks, full length books, news articles, websites, written by experts interested in helping you help your teens. Learn about teen sex statistics. Don't be afraid, get some information and then sit your teens down and have an open and honest discussion with them. When they see that you are willing to talk to them about it, they will be much more willing to come to you when they have questions. Show them that you trust them and care enough about them, to teach them what they need to know. In this way, you do have some control over what they are learning. If you tell them about teen pregnancy statistics and talk to them about sexually transmitted diseases as well as the emotional aspect of sex, then, when they start learning about sex bracelets at school, or get a sex related text, they will know what it is, what it means, and be able to make an informed choice about what they want to do with it.

Let's face it, we all have to make our own choices. We all make choices our parents don't agree with at times. If you want your children and teens to make choices that are going to keep them safe and healthy, after all that is what is really important, you have to give them the information they need to make those choices. If they understand what sex is, how teen pregnancy can be prevented and what to do to protect themselves from STDs, then they may still chose to participate in teen sex, but at least they will be doing so in a safe and educated way.

What is Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)?

Is your teen struggling in school? Have you wondered if your teen has ADD (attention deficit disorder) that is causing their problems in school? There is no simple yes or no, and if it is ADD it will have to be diagnosed and treated by a doctor. First let's talk about what ADD is, then we will cover signs and symptoms of ADD that you can look for to find out if you should have your teen evaluated. ADD is basically exactly what the name implies, the inability to pay attention. Because ADD doesn't include the hyperactivity part like attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, many kids with ADD may be overlooked.

Inattention can certainly affect a teens performance in school, but if the behavior is only at school, it may not be ADD. To be diagnosed with ADD, the symptoms must be present in more than just one setting. In other words, if your teen is struggling in school but doesn't appear to have any problems concentrating and paying attention in other settings, such as at home, work, or in social settings, he/she probably does not have attention deficit disorder.

Some basic criteria to look for before having your teen evaluated, and should include least six of the following to a degree that it interferes with your teens daily functions, include:

• Often fails to give close attention to details or makes mistakes in schoolwork
• Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks
• Seems not to listen when spoken to directly
• Fails to follow instructions or finish work
• Has difficulty organizing tasks or activities
• Difficulties with schoolwork or homework
• Loses things like school assignments, books, tools, etc.
• Easily distracted
• Forgetful about daily activities

As you can see by the list, any one or two of these on its own is not enough to be determined ADD, and could in fact be the result of some other type of problem, like hearing loss, a personality disorder, learning disability, teen depression, or other problem. That is why they have to meet at least 6 of them. The culmination of these behaviors, displayed consistently over a period of at least six months, and affecting your teen in more than one setting, may indicate that you should have your teen evaluated by a doctor for ADD.

ADD is not something that just comes on suddenly. Although it is not understood completely by medical professionals, it is thought to be genetic. You will most likely be asked how long your teen has displayed these symptoms, as it is commonly thought that these symptoms will be present by about 7 years of age. Of course, any time you feel that your teen is at risk or suffering, it is appropriate to ask for help. Whether they are suffering from ADD or suffering from some of type of problem, if you can't help them, don't be afraid to seek help and counsel from a psychiatrist, clinical social worker, or your family medical doctor. Parenting teenagers is never easy, but your teens health and success should be a top priority and concern.

Teen Responsibilities

The problem of raising responsible teens seems to grow with each new generation. Teen behavior reflects a sense of entitlement, and a lack of work ethic. Today's youth too often look to others to obtain what they need or desire without taking any responsibility to earn it. They are spoiled to their own disadvantage, as they fail to learn accountability for their actions, or have an appreciation for their own potential. Plus, it becomes a disadvantage to the parents as well, who may find themselves continually supporting their children into and throughout adulthood. With that said, it should be the number one responsibility of a teen to learn responsibility.

Raising a responsible teen takes planning, effort, and consistency. Let's face it, parenting teenagers is not always an easy task. When children are born, they are dependent on their parents for everything. However, as they grow, they should reach mile stones in which they are eventually able to make their own beds, prepare their own lunches, arrange for their own rides, and remember their own homework. By helping them learn some of these simple skills, like making their bed or developing good study habits, while they are young you will be helping them carry these skills into adulthood. When the teen years arrive, there is suddenly a large increase in the number of responsibilities your child should be able to accomplish on their own. Suddenly, they are almost an adult, and you may find yourself panicked by the fact that they are far from exhibiting responsible, adult like behavior.

However, the important thing is to relax and stop trying to control the situation. It is your teen's job to start taking accountability for themselves. The best thing you can do to teach them responsibility is to let them live the results of their own actions. This means providing them with the opportunity to make some decisions and experience the rewards or consequences accordingly. At this point, a parents job it to clearly explain what is expected of the teen, and what resulting rewards and consequences will occur.

A good way to encourage good decision making and responsible behavior in your teens is to appeal to their self interests. For each expected behavior, allow them to earn a reward that is of importance to them. Perhaps completing daily chores or turning in all homework could result in extra money for school clothes or use of the family car. On the other hand, if they fail to make the right decision, a punishment may result in the loss of a reward or privilege, such as restricting curfew to an earlier time or taking away their cell phone. The important thing is that teens are not spoiled, but taught to earn everything they are given. By this manner of parenting, they will learn to take accountability for their actions and in turn, become responsible adults.

Teen Behavior Issues

It seems that there are no limits to the amount of trouble some teens will get into. To be fair, it is in a teens nature, and typical teen behavior, to butt heads with their parents as they struggle to gain independence. However, the seriousness of teen behavior issues can vary greatly, covering everything from pushing the limits of curfew to drug abuse and violence. Although teen behavior often poses some challenges, with the right approach, you can troubleshoot many of the issues before they escalate.

One of the best ways to combat teen behavior issues is to begin early. From a young age kids need to be supported with a loving, nurturing, and structured environment. Positive parenting encourages self esteem that will help your child become resistant to peer pressure. In addition, you should always encourage good decision making skills when it comes to making friends. Plus, allowing your child to make some of their own choices from a young age, can assist them in building confidence in good decision making skills.

The most effective tool you have when working with teen behavior issues is communication. When you lecture a teen it often goes in one ear and out the other, especially in a dispute when both the parent and teen are upset. However, setting the time to clearly outline rules, expectations, and consequences removes the ambiguity that may enhance issues. Plus, having a discussion instead of arguing lets your teen know that you are concerned and have their best interests at heart. Often, teens act out in search of attention or because they start to believe they are not actually cared about.

For current problems, there are ways to help your teen change negative behaviors. Teens, by nature, are motivated by self interests. It is best to avoid spoiling them and allow them to earn their privileges. Teen contracts provide clear communication regarding behavior expectations and their associated privileges or rewards. They offer a positive spin on parenting in which a teen learns to take accountability for themselves. For example, a teen contract may state that the privilege of driving the car or hanging out with friends on Friday nights is earned by making good grades and coming home on time for curfew. On the other hand, negative behaviors may result in the loss of a privilege or punishment. The important thing is that the teen makes the decision knowing the consequences, good or bad. If you are consistent with the terms of the contract, your teen will likely make decisions based on gaining privileges, instead of disciplinary action.

Teen behavior issues can be frustrating for parents and may even jeopardize the safety of the teen. Utilizing positive parenting tactics often helps. However, if your teen has a serious issue, such as substance abuse, violent behavior, or severe defiance, seek professional help. Their issues may be the result of a serious mental condition that needs to be treated before they become a danger to themselves or others. Plus, a therapist can work with your teen to assist them in making better choices.