The problem of raising responsible teens seems to grow with each new generation. Teen behavior reflects a sense of entitlement, and a lack of work ethic. Today's youth too often look to others to obtain what they need or desire without taking any responsibility to earn it. They are spoiled to their own disadvantage, as they fail to learn accountability for their actions, or have an appreciation for their own potential. Plus, it becomes a disadvantage to the parents as well, who may find themselves continually supporting their children into and throughout adulthood. With that said, it should be the number one responsibility of a teen to learn responsibility.
Raising a responsible teen takes planning, effort, and consistency. Let's face it, parenting teenagers is not always an easy task. When children are born, they are dependent on their parents for everything. However, as they grow, they should reach mile stones in which they are eventually able to make their own beds, prepare their own lunches, arrange for their own rides, and remember their own homework. By helping them learn some of these simple skills, like making their bed or developing good study habits, while they are young you will be helping them carry these skills into adulthood. When the teen years arrive, there is suddenly a large increase in the number of responsibilities your child should be able to accomplish on their own. Suddenly, they are almost an adult, and you may find yourself panicked by the fact that they are far from exhibiting responsible, adult like behavior.
However, the important thing is to relax and stop trying to control the situation. It is your teen's job to start taking accountability for themselves. The best thing you can do to teach them responsibility is to let them live the results of their own actions. This means providing them with the opportunity to make some decisions and experience the rewards or consequences accordingly. At this point, a parents job it to clearly explain what is expected of the teen, and what resulting rewards and consequences will occur.
A good way to encourage good decision making and responsible behavior in your teens is to appeal to their self interests. For each expected behavior, allow them to earn a reward that is of importance to them. Perhaps completing daily chores or turning in all homework could result in extra money for school clothes or use of the family car. On the other hand, if they fail to make the right decision, a punishment may result in the loss of a reward or privilege, such as restricting curfew to an earlier time or taking away their cell phone. The important thing is that teens are not spoiled, but taught to earn everything they are given. By this manner of parenting, they will learn to take accountability for their actions and in turn, become responsible adults.
