Parenting teens can be particularly challenging. Some rebellion can be expected as teens naturally struggle for their independence. Teens will push boundaries, argue for the sake of arguing, and compete with you in an ongoing battle for power. Finding the balance between giving them too much freedom and being overprotective is one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. However, it is healthy and natural for a teen to grow into an independent adult.
Next time your teen fights you over curfew or battles to make their own choices, have some perspective on the situation. Although parenting a teen that fights for their independence may seem like a challenge, consider the alternative. Imagine if your teen never wanted to leave the house and was content living under your roof and under your instruction for life. This would not be appropriate or healthy. A teen’s desire to become independent is an innate characteristic that assists them in growing into adulthood.
As teens struggle for their independence, there may be times when it is appropriate to give in. This doesn’t mean to give them free reign in every situation. However, you may want to pick your battles. Teens should start exercising some control over many of their own choices. Therefore, ask yourself if the issue at hand poses an immediate threat to your teen or their safety. Although you may not agree with all the choices your teen makes, they should still be entitled to make decisions independently when it is feasible.
Teaching independence to your teen goes hand in hand with teaching responsibility. It may not be as important for your teen to always make the right decisions as it is for them to learn accountability for the decisions they make. Set up a system of rewards and consequences that correspond with the goals you have for your teen. If they chose not to take out the trash, they learn that they cannot borrow the car. This allows teens to exercise power to make their own choices, while learning accountability and growing into independent adults.
