Setting New Year's Goals with Your Teen

So often, parenting teens seems to be about picking your battles and discipline. This New Years take a pro active approach and set goals with your teen that encourage good behavior and positive life style changes. Communicate with your teen about what is important to both of you and steps that can be taken towards constructive behaviors. This creates an opportunity to talk to your teens about important issues such as alcohol, drugs, and pregnancy, plus encourages goal oriented behaviors that promote growth and development.

Sample Goals for Teens:

I will resist peer pressure to try drugs and alcohol.

I will take care of my body by exercising three times a week for one hour.

I will maintain an A average in all of my classes.

I will not miss any days of school unless I am ill.

I will avoid being alone with boys/girls and abstain from sexual activity.

I will spend 20 minutes on my chores everyday.

I will be healthier by eating at least one fruit and 1 vegetable everyday.

I will limit my time on the internet or television to 1-2 hours daily.

I will only choose friends with good values.


Regardless of what goal is set, it needs to be positive and attainable. It is important to state exactly how the results of the goal will be measured and the deadline for completion. Some goals may need smaller benchmarks outlining how they will be accomplished. All goals should have an associated reward to celebrate achievements. Be sure everything is documented in writing and the paper is stored in a place where your teen can be mindful of it. Using parent/teen contracts may help in defining the goals and rewards. Follow up with them on their progress regularly and encourage success.

Parenting and Healthy Food Choices for Your Teens

In a world of self-esteem problems, dieting questions, and eating disorders running rampant; parents don't know what to do and say and what they shouldn't do and say when it comes to food. Should you tell your child how much they have to eat or how much they can eat? Do they have to clean their plate in order to have dessert? Should you reward them with candy or some other sweet treat for getting their chore or homework done? Or should you just let them have whatever they want whenever they want so they can learn to make their own choices and learn what the consequences of their choices are?

Experts will tell you that they don't really know. We all come with different tastes, different personalities, and different ways that our bodies process food. A mere suggestion that your 13 year old daughter have an apple instead of a candy bar may be the beginning of a life long struggle with an eating disorder. Or your refusal to let your children have any sugar after 3 pm may lead to lying, sneaking, hiding, and deceiving you so that they can have a piece of candy occasionally. A suggestion that your teenage son should go for a run after eating a third helping at dinner may lead him to become overly obsessed with exercise and his appearance.

How do you find a happy medium? Most experts will agree that the best thing you can do is teach by example. Involve your teens in meal planning and preparation. Allow your children to choose what they like and don't like and then exercise with your teenagers. No matter how much you tell your kids what they should or shouldn't do, they are much more likely to actually do what they see you doing. Don't use food as a reward or a punishment. Make normal, healthy eating part of your daily living. It takes a little time and planning but once you get in a routine you don't even notice and the long-term benefits FAR outweigh the inconvenience you may experience when you are first finding the routine that works for you. As with anything relating to parenting and children, the more time you spend with your child the better your chances are of finding them to one day be well-adjusted, happy, healthy adults.

New Teen Drug Statistics Show Meth Use Down

A new drug report issued today, by the U.S. National Institute on drug abuse, indicates that fewer teens are using methamphetamine, but marijuana and prescription drug use still remains high.

The use of newer drugs, such as the hallucinogenic salvia leaf and the prescription drug Adderall, seems to be gaining in popularity. Salvia is a leaf that may be chewed, smoked, or taken as a tincture, and Adderall is a medication used to treat ADHD. More than 5% of 10th and 12th graders who did not have ADHD admitted using Adderall to get high in the past year.

Daily smoking is reportedly down in 8th, 10th, and 12th graders since 1996. 8th graders dropped from 10.4% to just 2.7%. Since 1997, high school seniors that said they smoked daily has been cut in half, from 24% to 11.2%. However, the use of smokeless tobacco has risen.

Prescription painkiller abuse is on the rise. For example, almost 1 in 10 high school seniors admit they used the narcotic painkiller Vicodin, and 1 in 20 said they used OxyContin as least once in the last year. 19% of teens said they got the prescription drugs from their doctor, 8% from dealers, and 66% from friends or relatives. Sadly, 12% said they "took" them, 21% bought them, and 33% said someone gave them the drugs.

The report shows progress against teen stimulant use, including cocaine and hallucinogens. However, many adolescents are still abusing prescription drugs and cough syrup, such as DXM. In fact, of the 10 most popular drugs used by 12th graders, seven of them were either prescription drugs or over-the-counter medications.

These reports often come with some good and some bad news, but the fact that we can now take a look at these drug statistics and see what may, or may not, be working to help this problem is promising.

Teens and Money Management

Many parents struggle with ways to teach teens financial responsibility. Some think that teens should hold jobs and pay for their own expenses but then wonder which responsibilities the teen should take on. Others give their teen allowance and expect them to pay for certain things but then again there is the struggle of which responsibilities to give. While others do none of the above but just give the teen whatever they need when they need or want it without a thought to what the teen is learning or what responsibilities the teen should have.

While every teen is different and may not respond to the same things there are a few things you can do in parenting teens that will help instill financial responsibility in your teen. Here are just a few ideas.

• Set the example that money is not the most important thing in life. If you live a life where your main focus is earning more, saving everything, or over spending these teach a teen about excess in any given direction. Teens need to learn moderation. They should know that you have a work ethic and you value your job and that you save a certain percentage on a regular basis. They should also see that you spend accordingly. You don't spend more than you make and that "getting" things is not the focus in life.
• Let your teen be in on a few major spending decisions. Maybe you are buying an expensive television, remodeling or purchasing a car. Let your teen see how you develop a budget with what you have and what you have saved and then let them help with deciding which things you are willing to splurge on and which areas you can cut back on. By being an active participant the teen learns more than words can say.
• Talk about it. This does not mean that you have to divulge all financial information to a teen if you don't think it is appropriate but if there are financial stresses in the household it can be a great teaching time for your teen. Rather than have them see you let the financial stress tear your family apart, set the example that you can all come together to help with the issue at hand. You will be pleasantly surprised at the ideas teens come up with and ultimately what they are willing to give up or do to help.
• Teach about instant gratification as well as the difference between wants and needs. Teens who do not grow up with parents who refrain from every want have a hard time understanding why they can't have everything that they want later in life even when their income doesn't support it.
• Live and learn. Let your teen make some mistakes and pay the natural consequences, literally. There is no better teacher than life's natural consequences.