Boarding Schools

There may be times in your years raising a family when for one reason or another one or more children are not thriving in a traditional school environment. You may have tried private schools, tutors, behavior management therapy, and more.

These are not the only reasons that parents choose boarding schools. Some choose certain schools because it is family tradition, some want certain curriculum, they want the experience for their children and then sadly, there are those that just need a place to "deposit" their child so that someone else has to deal with their children.

Whatever the reason there are many options. Here we will list a few options that you have but they are mainly based on behavior management, learning disorders or other special needs.

Abundant Life Academy - A Christian boarding school specifically for troubled teens. They offer leadership experiences, help with substance abuse and more. For more information please call 1-888-305-6729.

Oak Hills Academy - A co-ed boarding school for grades 8 through 12. Located in Virginia this school may have the perfect blend of what your student needs. Contact them today at 1-276-249-2619.

New Creation Boarding School - Based in Indiana, this Christian based boarding school has been serving students since 1969. Their school is build around helping troubled and at risk teens. To ask questions please call 1-765-935-2790.

Squaw Valley Academy - A boarding school and day school for grades 6 through 12 based in California. This is a great school willing to meet the needs of individual students. The students at Squaw Valley are college bound and ready for what they will find out of high school. Please call 1-530-583-9393 for more information.

Schools for Troubled Teens

There are times when struggling teens just escalate beyond a parent's control. When this happens there are options for parents. They can try therapy at home, parent contracts, group therapy, school tutoring, and there are youth programs and schools for troubled teens.

Here we will briefly discuss a few of the schools available for teens with issues that parent's alone cannot help them cope with.

Turning Winds Academic Institute - This unique school offers student scholarships and financing options. To learn more call 1-800-845-1380. Students stay here a minimum of seven months. On average students stay for about one year. This school specializes in treating these negative behaviors: teen depression, manipulation, substance abuse, low grades, lack of self esteem, defiance and trying to gain attention through negative behaviors. They are located in Troy, Montana. turningwinds.com

Denver Academy - A co-ed boarding school located in Denver, Colorado. Most of the students at Denver Academy have some sort of learning disturbance that has kept them from reaching their full academic potential. This school has trained individuals and programs to help your child fully realize their dreams of getting good grades and succeeding through school. For more information please contact: 1-303-777-5870.

RedCliff Ascent - This is a state-licensed wilderness therapy program for ages 13 through 24. Students are usually enrolled for a minimum of 30 days and sometimes more than 60 days, it just depends on what their individual needs are. Typical candidates for this program have issues such as depression, low self esteem, poor grades, confrontational, substance abuse, authority issues, running away, ADD, bipolar disorder, and oppositional defiance disorder to name just a few. For more information please contact their office in Enterprise, Utah at 1-800-898-1244.

Pathway Family Center - This co-ed treatment center in Indiana helps families who are struggling for a variety of reasons. Some of these may include substance abuse and behavior disorders. Their main goal is to heal your whole family. For more information please call 1-317-585-6953.

Teen Sexual Orientation

The teen years are a time of self discovery and a time when your identity forms. Teens are also discovering a lot about their sexuality. They have questions, their bodies are going through changes and sometimes they can't decipher the emotions and physical feelings that they are having.

Many teens are brought up in homes where homosexuality is considered immoral and just plain wrong. If a teen feels these urges they may feel like they cannot talk about them or that they are "dirty" or wrong for what they are feeling.

This post is not to impose any values or beliefs onto any reader but it is to give basic information so as to increase understanding and tolerance. We all want what is good for our children and ultimately for them to be happy. Naturally as parents, we think we know what will make a child happy in the long run. What we need to realize is that we teach them, train them and then hope that they find their way to happiness and hopefully we can accept them for who they are and what they choose. Even if that means that we don't agree.

Here are a few statistics to help you understand where your teen may be coming from should these issues arise for them.

1. 3-4 % of men and 1-2% of women are homosexual.
2. Personal values are known to help sexual behaviors more often than sexual orientation.
3. A woman's sexual orientation seems more flexible than men's.
4. Gay and lesbian people are more likely to be at risk for depression and suicide. This is most likely due to bullying, harassment or a general feeling of acceptance from peers and loved ones.
5. About 48% of gay or bisexual people realize these emotions for what they are in high school and about 26 % realize them in college.
6. Gay, bisexual, and lesbian teens are 3 times more like to make suicide attempts.
7. About 42% of homeless youth claim to be gay, lesbian or bisexual.

An interesting point is that gay and lesbian youth are more likely to miss school or drop out. They tend to not feel safe in their schools among their peers and/or teachers. Perhaps one way to overcome this is for parents to teach their children their belief system but that to be tolerant of others is key.

Information provided by nationalsafeplace.org.

Organized Sports

In today's world there are several issues that are affecting our teens severely. A few of these are overweight teens, teen eating disorders, teen behavior problems, school drop out and truancy, and substance and alcohol abuse. With these grave issues in mind it is obvious that parents, teachers and community members need to be looking into what can be done to help these teen issues be avoided. When they can't be avoided and a teen is in the thick of disaster there are some great boarding schools and behavior treatment programs to help teens get back on track and finish school so that there future is a brighter one.

One way that we can promote emotional and physical health is through encouraging our youth to participate in organized sports. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that "Participation in organized sports provides an opportunity for young people to increase their physical activity and develop physical and social skills. However, when the demands and expectations of organized sports exceed the maturation and readiness of the participant, the positive aspects of participation can be negated. The nature of parental or adult involvement can also influence the degree to which participation in organized sports is a positive experience for preadolescents."

The AAP recognizes that organized sports help kids physically and socially. They also note that there is controversy in the participation of very young children in such sports because of what their bodies can handle and what they can emotionally endure when it comes to competition and feedback on their performance. It is noted that the pressure to perform well in sports can be difficult for some personality types.

Studies have shown that children do not physically become capable of throwing, hitting, or other motor skills because of early introduction to things like organized sports. Free play promotes the same development in the child's time and gives them more room for learning more overall skills than just the specific ones used by different organized sports. For teens the issue is not really about development so much as the fact that teens who are involved in extra curricular activities typically do not turn to drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity or crime. Teens need things to fill their time and foster good self esteem so that they can withstand the peer pressure to do certain things.

Parents and doctors should work together to decide what any child of any age is capable of and what is good for them physically, mentally and emotionally. It is important to note here that some teens only go to school because they have to get decent grades to play on a football team or other team. If this is what is the motivator to get a student to finish school it may not be the best decision to take the sporting activity away from them. Everyone needs a niche where they are successful, confident and have a feeling of belonging and acceptance.

Physical Discipline

As children become older parents tend to change their parenting styles. For parents that use spanking, slapping or other physical punishments they tend to taper off as the child gets older and has the cognitive ability to understand what is being said to them.

There are two new studies done by Duke University, Oklahoma State University, Indiana University, Auburn University, and the University of Pittsburgh claim that parents who do not taper off on the physical discipline are more likely to have teens with behavioral problems.

The study set out to see how parents change the discipline styles and how, if what, effect this had on the families and individuals. The results are published in the September/October 2009 issue of Child Development. The study in fact found that if parents did not stop using physical discipline as children grew into teens, the teens were more likely to have behavior disorders and other issues.

According to an associate research professor at Duke University this study should show mental health professions to advise parents that they should not use physical discipline. The researcher urges these professionals to help parents who are at risk of using physical discipline by teaching them other coping mechanisms to manage stress and how to handle their children. Researches have found that families living in dangerous neighborhoods, that have lower income and lower education as well as high stress levels are more prone to using physical punishments. Therefore, it is vital to help these families with their whole situation to prevent the ongoing cycle that families can fall into.

Underage Drinking

The legal age for drinking across the United States is 21 years of age. This does not stop those under the age of 21 from drinking. In fact it is a wide spread problem. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services alcohol is the drug of choice for those adolescents under 21. The Department of Health also notes that every year we lose about 5,000 kids under 21 to drinking which takes in 1,900 from vehicle accidents, 1,600 from homicide, 300 from suicide and the remainder from falls, injuries and other alcohol related incidences. Underage drinking is a huge problem.

Despite the fact that most teens have lost someone they know or are close to because of an alcohol related incident, this does not cause them to stop. It is an increasing problem among teens. Teens are starting to drink earlier and earlier and the number of teens who drink rises as they get older. The Department of Health states that 29% of 12th graders had engaged in some heavy drinking at some point. This is a very alarming number.

So why are the teens turning to alcohol? Because of the changes that are going on in a teens body and mind it can lead to drinking all on it's own and this can even mean risky drinking where they take high risks with the amount they drink or the activities they engage in while under the influence.

If parents or peers have made drinking seem like a pleasurable event this may lead the teen to go into it thinking that it is a mood enhancer or something enjoyable. How a child views alcohol intake is formed very early in life so it is very necessary for parents to set guidelines and examples starting when children are at a very young age.

Because of our physiological differences, teens may be able to withstand a higher amount of alcohol without negative effects (like drowsiness, dizziness, etc.) than adults in general. This can lead to problems with binge drinking and alcohol poisoning.

There is always heredity that comes into play here. If the child comes from a background of people with addictive behaviors, the teen may have the same addictive behaviors and this is why it is so scary if they start drinking so young and to such excess. This leads to a life long problem of drinking and trying to overcome addiction. That is if their lives are not taken early because of accidents or other factors.

Parents can help with underage drinking. They can be a part of the solution. There is no need for a parent to feel like things are hopeless, even if you know that your teen has already been drinking in the past. There is help. You can start with parent/teen contracts and if those are not enough there are rehabilitation centers that work with youth. There are even schools that are meant for teens with these problems. Get the help your family needs today. Don't wait to find solutions for yourself and your teen.

Teen Issues

Teens face so many teen issues today. They have a hard time navigating these years but informed parents who decide to be involved in their teens lives will benefit from knowing what issues are on the teens mind and how to help them through the troubles they are having. These are joyful years for the teen and the parents. If parents are prepared and do the best they know how it can be a great few years and a time of preparation for your teen in how to survive in the adult world.

Here are just a few of the issues that are on the minds of teens everywhere:

Driving: Naturally teens are just like the rest of us and love the freedom and independence to drive. The key is realizing that teens don't always have a lot of wisdom in respect to this responsibility. They also do not have respect for the power of an automobile in most cases. Making sure that you have an in depth conversation with your teen about driving safety is crucial. You can take things a step further and be very proactive by having a parent/teen contract for driving. Teens often take this privilege for granted and they should know it is a privilege and that cars are not something that parents owe them.

Gambling: Teen gambling is on the rise. Most teens learn this behavior at home or in homes of those closest to them. It may start as an innocent game of poker where you use poker chips for bets and no one wins any money at all but then one thing leads to another and you have a teen with a full blown gambling problem. It is important not to introduce any kind of gambling to your teen until they are legally allowed to gamble. The laws are there to protect. Teens do not know when to stop and when you realize your addictive gambling can be and the ruin it can make of a persons life then you may think twice before introducing such habits to your teen.

Online Safety: Let's face it, everyone is on the Internet. Your teen is no different. They are online whether you know it or not. They have access at school, the local library, friends homes, and other public places. Make sure that you password protect your Internet connection at home and that you have serious talks about the dangers of giving out information online and the dangers of certain inappropriate websites.

Drugs & Alcohol: Hopefully your teen will never turn to drugs or alcohol whether for fun or for a way to deal with their problems. You can never start too soon to talk to kids about the dangers and realities of substance abuse. If you are past this point and you suspect that your child may have an addiction or problem please make sure you get them proper care at a drug rehabilitation center.

These are only a few of the issues plaguing our teens today. However, these are ever present in their daily lives.

Teens and Facebook

Social networking is all the rage right now. If you don't use Facebook or MySpace or another site for networking then you know someone who does. It is everywhere, actors, models, musicians, professional athletes and more are in on the Twitter phenomena and other sites. It is no wonder that most of today's teens are on such sites and feeling the need to be online with friends.

With the wonders of technology comes some concerns for parents. We all realize the fun that teens can have with their friends, family and even parents when using these sites but we also see the other side of the story where parents don't want their children to come across the wrong person. Internet safety is key.

So, how do we keep our teens out of trouble while online whether they use Facebook or another website for networking? Here are few ideas to help you:

1. Privacy settings: Who can see your teens information? Make sure that your teen goes into their account privacy settings and sets it so that only friends can see their information and photos, etc. You need to do this in each section (photos, profile information, etc.). In the privacy page click on "Search". You will see where you can control who contacts you or your teen. This will keep people that your teen doesn't know from contacting them randomly to get information or friend requests.
2. Don't post your full name. It is a good idea just to use your last name initial. Be sure to explain to your teen why this is important.
3. Explain to your teen that just because you have your privacy settings set does not mean that your friends are doing the same. So, it is never a good idea to post questionable material or photos anywhere on your page. These things appear on your friends "wall" and if the privacy settings are not set then you do not know who is viewing these items.
4. Do not post school info, address, or phone number on your profile or anywhere else.
5. Only allow friends that you know in person. Cyber friends are a tricky thing. Talk with your teen about the importance of why you only need your true "in person" friends to be viewing your information. Cyber bullying is a real problem, discuss this with your teen so that they are not the victim or the cause of such a problem.

The key with most teen issues is to communicate. Teens need you to talk to them and to be honest and straight forward. Parents need to closely monitor teen Internet use and this includes social networking sites. Some parents only allow their teens to have accounts as long as the parent has the password. Other's allow the teen to have accounts if they are on the teens friends list. This is a good way to monitor the photos that are being posted as well as the content and any other activity.

Parents may think that it is simply a teens right to have such a page and that it is their right to have privacy. Considering the dangers of the Internet and giving out information you cannot just trust that your teen has the wisdom to know how to use the power of such sites without some guidance. Be involved and if you do let your teen use these sites, join the party and do it with them. Use a parent contract if necessary so that your teen understand the rules and consequences of having the privilege of Internet access.

Teen Peer Pressure

Parents can often lose sight of the impact they have on their children as they start into the teen years and their peer group becomes their focus. While there will be peer pressure from friends parents need to keep in mind that the teen will never forget what they have been taught, the example shown, and that they still need you to lead the way and direct them. They need to be hearing from you!
While your teen will always look to you for guidance, even when they don't act like it, peer pressure is very real and at times very difficult. So how do we guide our teens and help them navigate these choppy waters during their high school years? There are few key things we can do for them:

1. Help your teen come up with responses for typical questions. Help them have a script in their minds of what they will say when someone offers them a cigarette, alcohol, drugs, asks them to ditch school, asks them to sneak out, or pursues them sexually. Be specific and do role playing. It is proven that kids assimilate information and will put the information into action if they have done role playing. Naturally, this does not make them exempt from all peer pressure but it is an important step. Also, let your child know they can use you as a scape goat. They can always say "my parents won't let me go to the party tonight", or "my mom will die if she smells cigarette smoke on my clothes and hair". You are your teens greatest ally.
2. Teach your teen how to avoid sticky situations. Help them understand that there are certain times and places that they need to avoid so they can avoid being put in a undesirable situation. It is also a good thing to talk to your kids early on about the importance of choosing good friends. Chances are if there friends are not doing things that aren't right, your teen will not fall into them.
3. For dating it is wise to tell your teen that it is best to date in groups. This avoids sexual encounters at an age that is clearly too early. It is also good if your teen goes in a group to a party or any other function where questionable sexual behavior may arise. This will let the teens have support with one another.
4. Keep the lines of communication open with your teen. The minute you make your teen feel like they will only be in trouble that is when your teen will not come to you any longer about what is troubling them. You need your teen to know that they can turn to you no matter what the situation. They need to know that while you may not like a certain behavior or situation, you will always love them.
5. Praise your teen. Help them establish great self esteem. Compliment them on what they do right and give positive reinforcement whenever you can. If your child thinks highly of themselves it is unlikely that they will get into trouble.

Teen Behavior Contracts

Oftentimes teens have behavioral problems or other teen issues that may require special attention from the parent. Or, as a parent you may just want to set clear guidelines to prevent the big problems before they get a chance to start.

Behavior contracts have many benefits. For the teen it is a chance to have a clearly defined set of rules and consequences (both good and bad). This takes the guess work out of things and teens thrive on consistency so this is a great tool for them. It is also good for the teen to be included on the decision making for what consequences should follow what behaviors.

For parents the benefits are great. Parents get a chance to sit down with their teen, go over house rules and expectations. This is also the perfect time to discuss your family expectations on things such as drugs, alcohol and sexual behavior. Parents have a chance when sitting down formally with a child to discuss their values and morals. If teens never hear these things from a parent they really do not know what moral ground to stand on. Never assume that just your example is good enough, children of all ages need and deserve to be talked to about such matters.

Behavior contracts are useful for subjects like general behavior, driving, curfews, household chores, school grades and attendance, drug use, alcohol abuse, sexual activity and more.

Teens and Dishonesty

Teens lie for a variety of reasons and chance are at one time or another they all do it. This is a common behavior problem for teens. Teens may lie because they want their freedom, feel they deserve their freedom, or they have done something wrong and need to lie to cover it up. Teens will often make light of their dishonesty but they need to learn that lying is serious and that throughout their lives honesty needs to be a habit.

How can you tell if your teen is lying to you? There are some key things to look for that are signs of when someone is lying.

• Defensiveness - Teens may become defensive when you ask them where they have been or where they are going. A teen with nothing to hide does not mind offering their parents a way to get in contact with them. Teens that get defensive when asked are most likely hiding something.
• Eye contact - If your teen makes constant eye contact without blinking this can be as alarming as the teen that won't make eye contact with you at all. Usually a teen will not look at you if they are lying to you unless they realize this. Then they over compensate by staring you in the eye and they end up not blinking.
• When people are making stories up they often look down. When someone is telling a story that is honest and true they look up like they are remembering it just as it happened. So, watch for the shoe gazer as they speak.
• The long pause - this is especially useful when you are having a phone conversation and you ask where you teen is or what is going on. There will often be a pause as they come up with a story to tell you.
• Body language - When someone is being dishonest they are often nervous and have physical twitches or they will touch there face.

Before accusing your teen of lying be sure you have your facts straight. No one likes to be accused of being dishonest, especially an honest person. You don't want to have your teen think that you doubt them when there really are not hard facts to prove that you can't. It's crucial that parents and teens build trust so you may need to talk to a counselor about ways to build this.