In a world of self-esteem problems, dieting questions, and eating disorders running rampant; parents don't know what to do and say and what they shouldn't do and say when it comes to food. Should you tell your child how much they have to eat or how much they can eat? Do they have to clean their plate in order to have dessert? Should you reward them with candy or some other sweet treat for getting their chore or homework done? Or should you just let them have whatever they want whenever they want so they can learn to make their own choices and learn what the consequences of their choices are?
Experts will tell you that they don't really know. We all come with different tastes, different personalities, and different ways that our bodies process food. A mere suggestion that your 13 year old daughter have an apple instead of a candy bar may be the beginning of a life long struggle with an eating disorder. Or your refusal to let your children have any sugar after 3 pm may lead to lying, sneaking, hiding, and deceiving you so that they can have a piece of candy occasionally. A suggestion that your teenage son should go for a run after eating a third helping at dinner may lead him to become overly obsessed with exercise and his appearance.
How do you find a happy medium? Most experts will agree that the best thing you can do is teach by example. Involve your teens in meal planning and preparation. Allow your children to choose what they like and don't like and then exercise with your teenagers. No matter how much you tell your kids what they should or shouldn't do, they are much more likely to actually do what they see you doing. Don't use food as a reward or a punishment. Make normal, healthy eating part of your daily living. It takes a little time and planning but once you get in a routine you don't even notice and the long-term benefits FAR outweigh the inconvenience you may experience when you are first finding the routine that works for you. As with anything relating to parenting and children, the more time you spend with your child the better your chances are of finding them to one day be well-adjusted, happy, healthy adults.
